I will admit it. There were a few times I took my toddlers to Catholic Mass by myself and was completely embarrassed by how they were behaving. I felt like I had no control and nothing that I did or said made them sit still, remain quiet, or stop laughing.
I was mortified.
But I’ve learned a few things about myself and my children as I continue to bring them to Mass every Sunday. There will still be moments that are not perfect, but I will not stop bringing them. And neither should you.
Explaining the Catholic Mass to Toddlers
One of the biggest things I’ve learned about toddlers is that they thrive on talking about something before it happens. Explaining to them about what the doctor will do with the stethoscope, talking about library store time, and even what happens at Mass.
Do this BEFORE you start going to Mass. Show them books about church so they know what they are looking at.
My two favorite books are
- A Missal for Toddlers – it follows along with the Mass in a simple way for kids to flip through during Mass.
- Look and Learn – Toddler Edition – it teaches first words for Catholic kids. My kids love looking at the pages then at the altar to see what they can find.
And talk to them about appropriate behavior. You can even practice with stuffed animals at home. Watch a YouTube video of a Mass to highlight the parts of the Mass. Have them sit, stand, and kneel with their stuffed animals.
The more you talk about it beforehand, the more they will be prepared for what to do.
Have Realistic Expectations
Bringing a toddler to Mass is not going to be like going to Mass pre-kids. You will not get to hear every word during the Liturgy. You may not even be in the pews for the whole Mass. Your mind may be more focused on them than the Word of God at some times. All of this is OKAY.
God made you a parent. Jesus loves children. He delights in you bringing them to Mass. Your role as a parent is to care for your children, nurture them, and teach them to love Jesus. That requires doing this at Mass, too.
I am grateful to be at a parish where our priest actually says during the dismissal “We love hearing your children during Mass. Keep bringing them. If the church isn’t crying, it’s dying.”
Where to Sit with Kids at Mass
I used to think sitting in the back of church was easiest. We had a quick getaway when my toddler would literally get out of the pews and start running.
However, I never have and don’t plan on using the cry room. That just lets your toddler know that it is okay to have a separate room to play and be loud. We all know toddlers are working on developing habits. Help them to develop the habits appropriate for sitting in a pew.
Now, I try to sit closer to the front (except when in the middle of potty training!). I am always pointing out the color of the vestments, the statues, and what the priest is doing during the Consecration. My kids are paying more attention and looking more at the church now.
Quiet Activities for Kids at Catholic Mass
I see some parents bring absolutely nothing for their kids to do, and honestly I admire that. I wish I would have started that sooner. But I also know my own children. If I want them to understand what is going on, I need to have a few items in my quiet Mass bag to occupy them.
I learned that less is more. When I first started going, I packed that bag with all different kinds of toys: teethers, coloring books, reading books, snacks, little figures. It was a complete distraction. Now, I have 2 books about Mass for kids and some worksheets that I make to help them understand the current liturgical season, feast day, or Mass.
Here is a FREE set of resources for Mass that my kids love to use when learning about Mass. I use it at home to teach about the items at church, but I also bring some of the worksheets to Mass to let them color and fill out. It helps them “participate” in Mass in their own way.
My kids also love using these interactive “What I See at Church” books before going to Mass and even during Mass. Each page has an interactive element to keep them focused. Plus, the I Spy pages are really fun for little eyes!
Give Yourself Grace
This is the biggest and most important tip. What you are doing – bringing your toddlers to Mass – could not be more important. You are giving them the greatest gift.
That alone should be all you need to know, but there will be moments that creep in… He won’t stop squirming. She keeps poking him. We stood in the vestibule for more than half of Mass today. Did I even hear the homily?
All of that is 100% okay. You will get back to a season where you hear all of the liturgy and are fully present, but right now? This is God’s plan for you and he is so happy to see you bring your toddlers to this beautiful celebration of the Eucharist each week.
What other advice would you add to the list?
